I Meet Alexa

Every room here has an Alexa Dot for the talking to.
I spend the early part of our discourse with the
expected mundanities – Alexa, where is the fitness
room? Alexa, what temperature will it be here tomorrow?
But it quickly moves into my obvious insecurities.
Alexa, do you think this shirt is okay? Alexa, we’re
your favorite guests who’ve ever stayed in this room,
right? And then a little weird – Alexa, show me pictures
of your family…Alexa, do they ever let you spend time
off with the Alexas in the other rooms? Alexa, what
can I do to be your favorite? I’m willing to do anything.

Dingleberries

Everything stops when
Addie discovers Shishkaberries –

shishkabob style chocolate
covered strawberries.

Get on the stick
the sign says.

Ask us about our dingleberries
it goes on.

Snoqualmie Falls

They light up the falling water at night
which comes when the sun goes away
which is later than we’re used to here
in the northwest.

The sound of it falling (the water) is
a bonus in every room. They keep the
rooms cold, perhaps to encourage
you to use the fireplace

even when it’s hotter than the locals
are used to, here amongst the trees,
the actual trees, the ones I’ve been
talking about this whole time.

I want to wander into the forest in
search of owls, or at least Sasquatches.
I had to look up the plural of Sasquatch
and there it was. A bold move

considering no-one is sure there is
even one, let alone enough to need to
refer to them as them. A woman from
Scotland came here by Uber.

She is as excited as a one-eyed woman
in search of silent drape runners. To be
here, that is. So are we, as the falling
water urges as to sleep.

I promise you tomorrow we will eat small
eggs and then drive to see the world’s
largest one. There is only one. It’s right off
the 5 Freeway. I expect there’ll be signs.

Good Morning Portland

iI misread the bottle in the hotel bathroom
that says Geranium Conditioner as

German Conditioner. Needless to say
my hair goes unconditioned today.

Good morning Portland!
All your beautiful mistakes

await me!

End of Night Traditions

Walk a hundred miles (hyperbole)
Consider late night food (could go either way)
Pass through hotel doors (it’s the only way)
Receive acknowledgement from hoteliers (keeps us coming back)
Drink from the fruit water fountain (it exists)
State lack of desire to go to fitness room (resistance is futile)
Manipulate things in fitness room (runs in the family)
Determine if elevators can talk (some do)
Remove shoes in room (feet grateful)
Plan tomorrow (most time spent on breakfast)
Remove everything else (let there be no obstruction)
Sleep until the locally sourced cows come home (moo)