She Knows Better

On the fourth of July
I wore red, white and blue

American Flag Underwear.
So I didn’t think it would be a problem

during the fireworks
near the Charles River

if I pulled down my pants
and shouted God Bless America!

My wife assured me
it would be.

Riding The T

I am disappointed to learn
the spokesperson isn’t
Mr. T

Accommodating Our Diet

Restaurants here
have a standard of putting
a distinguishable “V”
by menu items which are vegetarian.
I feel so welcome here,

until I remember the show “V”
about the lizard aliens
disguised as humans
who came to take over the world
and eat us.

I spend the next five days
in my hotel room
ordering room service
and disguised as
not lizard food.

Lifelong Dream

for Homer Simpson and Roy Orbison

It has always been my lifelong dream
to open a pub in my city
build a Stonehenge in my backyard
live on a clipper ship
have elephants and castles
on every corner

My lifelong dream has always been
to travel in a dumb waiter
install a moat
have a train stop underneath my house
understand the difference between beer and beer

If I were to tell you my lifelong dream
you’d hear how I wanted to
walk across bridges every day
build a miniature replica of every building and object
be a gentleman of leisure
have a past worth mentioning

My lifelong dream is to have a lifelong dream
live in a house made of wood and stone and marble and wood
interact with chimpanzees

In lifelong dreams I walk with you
In lifelong dreams I talk with you