March 7-13, 2016: Ricky Garni and Scott Ferry

Grilling Onions

The lady next door is grilling onions.
The smell of grilling onions.
It makes you think of hamburgers
and hamburger buns and pickles.
The hamburger buns are thick
and doughy. The hamburgers are
quite small but they are delicious.
The french fries are greasy but
they are also delicious. When the
hamburgers are grilling you can’t
smell them, just the onions.
Just sitting there, waiting,
it’s so good, I wish it was
right now. This was

so long ago. They were so good.
I don’t like the lady next door but still
you have to admit, no matter how you feel
about the lady next door, she is grilling onions.

Oh whatever, Nevermind

Didn’t think much of it. My daughter half-watching
the tv when the Nevermind cover image of the naked
baby boy flashed on the screen, the fishing line dangling
the dollar in front of him. The word “penis”
was uttered several times. He was now all grown up,
predictably normal.

The next day my daughter and I were in the hot tub.
“You know some people have that thing that goes down from
their bebe (Chamorro for vagina) to catch fish with?”

“Umm, ok.” I consulted my can of IPA for a response. She continued
to jump from step to step with her goggles in her mouth.

“Daddy, I’m going to catch a fish with my penis!”

Cough, cough. “What? Where did you hear that?”

“Oh Dad, I know about that.”

“What? Did you hear that at school?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Then she asked for help with her goggles
so she could look at the jets underwater.
Predictably normal.

I thought, my God,
she is only 4. I am not ready.